The Intentions You’re Not Setting (But Should Be)

Every January, we’re bombarded with the same messaging: New year, new you. Set your goals. Make this your best year yet. Lose the weight. Get the promotion. Build the empire.

And look, I’m not against ambition. I’ve built companies. I’ve led teams through IPOs. I’ve spent decades setting aggressive goals and working as hard as possible to achieve them. Goals have their place.

But somewhere along the way, I realized something: I could hit every target on my list and still feel a sense of misalignment. I could close the funding round, deliver the presentation, secure the board seat, show up to my kids’ soccer games—and still walk away feeling like I’d betrayed some essential part of myself in the process.

That’s when I started paying attention to intentions.

The Difference Between Goals and Intentions

Goals are what you want to accomplish. Intentions are how you want to show up while you’re doing it.

Goals are external and measurable: revenue targets, promotions, milestones. They live on vision boards and in performance reviews. Intentions are internal and experiential: the energy you bring, the boundaries you protect, the version of yourself you’re committed to being.

A goal might be “negotiate a better salary.” An intention might be “advocate for myself without apologizing or diminishing my worth.”

A goal might be “lead the team through a difficult quarter.” An intention might be “stay grounded in my values even when the pressure is on.”

You can achieve a goal and still feel empty if the process violated your intentions. You can fall short of a goal and still feel proud if you showed up with integrity.

Goals get you somewhere. Intentions keep you whole along the way.

The Intentions We Unintentionally Inherit

The tricky part about intentions is that most of us don’t actually set them consciously. We inherit them—from our families, our industries, our cultures, the people around us.

For years, I operated with unspoken intentions I’d absorbed without question:

• Be agreeable. Don’t make waves.
• Work harder than everyone else to prove you belong.
• Say yes to every opportunity, even if it drains you.
• Prioritize the company’s goals over your own—and sometimes others’— well-being.
• Be grateful for any seat at the table, even if it’s inadequate or uncomfortable.

These weren’t intentions I chose. They were survival strategies I adopted as a woman of color navigating predominantly white, male-dominated spaces. They helped me succeed in a system that wasn’t built for me—but they also cost me.

It took me years to realize I was living by someone else’s playbook. I was achieving goals, sure. But I was also exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from what actually mattered to me.

That’s the danger of unexamined intentions: You can spend a lifetime pursuing success on terms that were never really yours.

The Audit You Need to Do

If you want 2026 to be different—not just more successful, but more aligned—you need to audit your current intentions. 

Ask yourself:

• What intentions have I been operating from by default?
• Where did those intentions come from? (Family? Industry norms? Past experiences?)
• Are these intentions actually serving me—or am I performing someone else’s version of success?

Here are some common inherited intentions that might be running your life without you realizing it:

“I should always be available.”
Translation: My boundaries don’t matter as much as other people’s needs.

“I can’t say no to opportunities.”
Translation: Scarcity is the default. There might not be another chance.

“I should be grateful for what I have and not ask for more.”
Translation: Advocating for myself is ungrateful or greedy.

Sound familiar?

These are the invisible scripts that dictate how we move through our careers. And until we name them, we can’t change them.

Setting Intentions That Actually Matter

Once you’ve identified the intentions you’ve been living by default, you get to choose new ones. Ones that actually align with who you are and who you want to become.

Every year, I take time at the end of December to journal about my intentions for the year ahead. I get clear on how I want to approach everything.

Some of my core intentions for recent years have been:

• Lead from authenticity, not performance. I spent too many years trying to be who I thought people needed me to be. Now I lead as myself.
• Protect my energy like it’s my most valuable resource. Because it is. If I’m depleted, I’m no good to anyone.
• Negotiate from clarity and self-worth, not desperation. This has changed every conversation I have about compensation, partnerships, and opportunities.
• Surround myself with mirrors who see me clearly. Build and nurture relationships with people who reflect my power back to me, especially when I can’t see it myself.

Notice what these intentions do: They give me a framework for decision-making. They help me course-correct when I’ve strayed. They remind me what matters when the pressure is on.

Your Homework for 2026

If you want to step into this new year with clarity and alignment, here’s what I want you to do:

1. Audit your current intentions.
What invisible rules have been running your life? Where did they come from? Are they actually serving you?

2. Choose your intentions for 2026.
How do you want to show up this year? What energy do you want to bring? What boundaries do you want to protect? Write them down. Make them concrete.

3. Build accountability.
Share your intentions with someone you trust. Ask them to check in with you. Intentions need reinforcement.

The Year You Choose Yourself

You can achieve every goal on your list and still feel hollow if you’re not anchored in your own intentions.

You can build the career, lead the team, close the deal—and still lose yourself in the process if you’re living by someone else’s rules.

This year can be different. Not because you’ll suddenly have it all figured out. Not because the external pressures will disappear. But because you’ll be anchored in what actually matters to you.

You’ll stop performing someone else’s version of success and start living your own.

That’s the power of intentions. They don’t just help you achieve more. They help you stay true to yourself and whole while you’re doing it.

So as you step into this new year, ask yourself: How do I want to show up? What version of myself am I committed to being?

And then, with clarity and courage, live into that answer.