Come Home to Yourself
The Revolutionary Practice of Self-Compassion
When was the last time you truly came home to yourself?
Not the polished professional self you present in meetings. Not the capable parent juggling multiple responsibilities. Not the friend who always has it together. But your whole, authentic self —with all your contradictions, vulnerabilities, and unfinished edges.
In my decades-long journey through biotech leadership, I’ve discovered that this homecoming may be the most revolutionary act a leader can undertake. It’s certainly been the most challenging and rewarding one for me.
The concept of coming home to yourself has gained popularity in wellness circles, but it deserves serious consideration in our professional lives. When we fragment ourselves—leaving parts of our identity, experience, or wisdom at the door—we diminish not only our personal well-being but our leadership capacity. It doesn’t have to be that way.
The Inner Landscape of Leadership
Self-compassion isn’t a luxury or indulgence; it’s a leadership necessity. Research from Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas has shown that self-compassion correlates with greater emotional resilience, more accurate self-perception, and lower levels of anxiety and depression. These qualities are essential for sustainable leadership. Thus, we can—and should—examine how we nurture ourselves through various seasons of professional growth on a regular basis.
I’ve noticed that when I treat my past selves with tenderness rather than criticism, I create internal psychological safety. This safety then extends outward, allowing me to create environments where others can do the same for themselves.
From Self-Rejection to Self-Integration
Many of us, particularly women and members of underrepresented groups, have been taught to compartmentalize our professional and personal selves. We may believe that certain aspects of our identity or experience don’t belong in leadership spaces.
As Melinda Gates reflected on Maia’s poem, she noted how she could imagine her younger self “lovingly delivering flowers to [her] porch to celebrate that [she’s] finally as confident and as comfortable in [her] own skin as she wished she could be.”
This image resonates deeply with me. For years, I tried to separate my identity as a woman of color from my professional persona, believing that was necessary to succeed in predominantly white, male spaces. I attempted to hide any vulnerability, uncertainty, or cultural difference that might set me apart.
What I didn’t realize was that this self-fragmentation was depleting the very energy and authenticity that would ultimately make me most effective. True leadership isn’t about conforming to a singular model; it’s about bringing your unique gifts—all of them—to the challenges at hand.
The Practice of Self-Integration
This integration doesn’t happen automatically. It requires intentional practice:
- Regular reflection that acknowledges all aspects of your experience
- Journaling that gives voice to parts of yourself that may feel unsafe to express publicly
- Community with others who see and affirm your whole self
- Rituals that help you reconnect with your core values and authentic voice
When I co-founded the Biotech CEO Sisterhood, creating space for this kind of authentic integration was a core objective. We needed environments where we could discuss both strategic business challenges and the personal dimensions of leadership without compartmentalizing.
From Personal Integration to Collective Transformation
The flowers left by all the women we were before aren’t just for our personal benefit. They become resources we can share with others walking similar paths.
Every time we bring our whole selves to leadership—acknowledging both our professional expertise and our lived experience—we expand what’s possible for everyone around us. We create psychological safety that allows others to integrate parts of themselves they may have left behind.
This Mother’s Day, I invite you to consider how you might more fully come home to yourself— gathering all the flowers left by the women you were before, and creating conditions where others can do the same.
The most powerful leaders I know aren’t those who’ve mastered a single approach or cultivated a perfect professional image. They’re the ones who have learned to integrate all aspects of themselves, drawing wisdom from their full life experience.
They’re the ones who have come home.