Building Your Personal Board of Mirrors

I met my first mirror at birth…

My mother was a decorated physician revered by her colleagues and patients alike. People still stop me to tell me what an impact she had on their lives. And that’s not the only place she excelled. She did it all—managing a demanding career, traditional home, beautifully prepared meals, caretaking responsibilities—and she made it look effortless. She set an impossibly high bar, and she showed me that being a professional woman with an important career wasn’t just possible; it was expected.

That mirror shaped everything. It’s why I never questioned that I would build something significant with my life. It’s why independence wasn’t optional; it was essential. After my father nearly died when I was three and passed away when I was a teenager, my mother put my brother and me through medical school without any debt. She taught me that you have to be able to take care of yourself and your family, no matter what happens.

But here’s what I learned much later: one mirror, even an extraordinary one, can’t show you everything.

My mother showed me I could be a physician. She showed me strength and resilience and the power of fighting against all odds. What she couldn’t show me—what no single person could show me—was the full picture of what was possible in biotech entrepreneurship, in boardrooms where I’d be the only woman, in industries that weren’t originally built for people like me.

For that, I needed more mirrors. And eventually, I needed to learn to be my own.

The Limitation of Single Perspectives

Think about an actual mirror for a moment. When you look in one, you see yourself from a single angle. You might miss what’s happening on the sides or behind you. You adjust based on what that one reflection shows you, but it’s incomplete.

The same is true with the people who reflect our potential back to us.

Early in my career, I had professors who believed in me and mentored me along the way. They saw I was capable. But I also encountered people I thought would be helpful who simply weren’t. I had experiences where I expected guidance and got silence instead. There were moments when I needed someone to share my name with others, people I didn’t yet have access to, and it just didn’t happen. .

So I learned to believe in myself. I gave myself the advice I would have given to others. I had to, because I didn’t have mirrors telling me I could do certain things. In fact, I had plenty of people telling me I couldn’t—that I wasn’t qualified enough, didn’t have the right experience, didn’t fit the mold.

I didn’t let that stop me. I kept pushing boundaries. When I couldn’t do something in one company, I moved to another. Looking back now, I can see how much courage that took. Maybe it was foolish courage, the kind you have when you’re young and don’t know better. But it was also self-belief. It was me becoming my own mirror.

Creating Your Personal Board

Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: you don’t have to do this alone, but you do have to be intentional about building your support system.

Think of it as your personal board of directors—people who reflect different aspects of your potential, who challenge different limiting beliefs, who show you what’s possible in different domains of your life.

This isn’t about finding one perfect mentor who has all the answers. It’s about surrounding yourself with multiple mirrors:

• The person who’s been where you want to go. They show you the path is real, that someone like you can actually get there (I’ve long admired Oprah Winfrey for everything she’s accomplished, despite some of the toughest circumstances).
• The person who sees your blind spots. They challenge your narratives, question your assumptions, push you to think bigger or more carefully.
• The person who reminds you of your strength. When you’re doubting yourself, they reflect back what you’ve already accomplished, who you already are. Better yet, they tout your value to others. 
• The peer who’s in the trenches with you. They normalize the struggle, share strategies, make you feel less alone in the hard moments.
• The person you’re becoming a mirror for. This one matters more than you might think. When you help someone else see their potential, you reinforce your own clarity about what’s possible.

I committed to building the Biotech CEO Sisterhood because I understood this viscerally. We needed each other. Not just for networking or deal flow, but for reflection. For someone to say “you’re not crazy, this is hard” and also “you’re more capable than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

Your Reflection Matters Most

With all that said, one truth took me decades to fully understand: the most powerful mirror you’ll ever find is the one you hold up to yourself.

All those external mirrors matter. They’re valuable. They’re necessary. But they can’t be your foundation. They won’t always be consistent. They can’t give you the kind of anchored, centered self-belief that carries you through the moments when you’re completely alone in a decision.

My mother showed me incredible strength, but I had to find my own version of that strength. My mentors opened doors, but I had to walk through them. My peers validated my experiences, but I had to trust my own judgment.

You have to become the person who believes in you most.

Not in an arrogant way. Not in a way that refuses feedback or closes yourself off to growth. But in a way that’s anchored in a fundamental truth: you are enough. You’re deserving. You have nothing to prove to anyone.

This is the shift from seeking external validation to cultivating internal strength. It’s the difference between needing someone to tell you you’re capable and knowing it in your bones.

How to Truly See Yourself

So how do you actually do this? How do you become your own best mirror?

You start by paying attention to the stories you tell yourself. When something goes wrong, what narrative kicks in? When you’re facing a big opportunity, what voice shows up? Is it the voice that says “you’ve got this” or the one that whispers “who do you think you are?”

You examine your FIDS—the Fear, Imposter Syndrome, Doubt, and Shame that creep in when you’re stepping into new territory. You get curious about where they came from and whether they’re actually true.

You practice catching yourself in moments of self-sabotage and asking: “If I were my own mentor, what would I tell myself right now?”

You document your journey. You track your growth. You create evidence for yourself of what you’re capable of, so when doubt shows up, you have receipts.

You surround yourself with those external mirrors—the book club, the accountability partner, the Sisterhood—but you don’t make them responsible for your self-worth.

The Work Ahead

This is the journey The Mirror Effect  is designed to take you on. Not just intellectually, but practically. The 90 prompts in the companion workbook aren’t there to fill pages. They’re there to help you build the muscle of self-reflection, to train yourself to be your own best advocate, to practice seeing yourself clearly.

After 25 years in biotech, after founding companies and sitting on boards and building the Sisterhood, I’ve learned that the leaders who have the most impact aren’t the ones who had perfect mirrors from day one. They’re the ones who learned to see themselves clearly, who surrounded themselves strategically, and who became the mirrors others needed.

That’s the leader you’re becoming.

You’ll still need external mirrors. We all do. But you won’t be dependent on them. You’ll be anchored in yourself, surrounded by reflections that help you see even more clearly, and actively reflecting potential back to others.

That’s authentic leadership. That’s the mirror effect.

And it starts with the choice to pick up that mirror and really look—at your pitfalls, at your power, at everything you’re capable of becoming.

The book launches in one week. The workbook is waiting. The community is ready.

Are you?