When Receiving Becomes Giving
Gratitude posts will flood your feed this week. Beautiful tables, expressions of thanks, carefully curated lists of blessings. And while I believe in the power of genuine appreciation, I want to talk about something we discuss far less often: the profound transformation that happens when we receive gratitude from those we’ve served.
The gratitude that comes back to us is the very fuel that enables us to serve more deeply, more authentically, more powerfully.
The Messages That Fill Your Cup
A few weeks ago, I received a message from a man who’d been following my work, and when he started reading The Mirror Effect, something clicked. He wrote that my speaking openly about toxic work environments—situations that are more common than we think—had contributed to his reflection and helped him see things more clearly.
Last week, he handed in his resignation. He walked away from a toxic environment that wasn’t getting better.
Then he told me about his two daughters, in whom he and his wife have worked hard to instill confidence and self-awareness. Now he’s recommending they read the book to be their best selves as they launch their professional lives.
I cried reading his message. Not because it was about me, but because it was about him. About his clarity, his daughters, and the ripple effect of one person finding their voice and then creating space for others to find theirs.
That’s not the only message that moved me to tears. There’s the woman who attended one of my book events and asked for (and got!) a raise the next day. The father using The Mirror Effect to facilitate a book club with his three daughters, creating a shared language for navigating a world that wasn’t built with them in mind. There are others who’ve written to say they cried through sections because they finally had words for experiences they thought they’d been navigating alone.
These stories—every single one—fill my cup in ways I never anticipated.
The Ancient Wisdom of Seva
In Hindu and Sikh traditions, seva, or selfless service, is performed without any expectation of reward, recognition, or return. Seva is considered a spiritual practice, a path to personal growth and transformation. The paradox at its heart is profound: when you serve others selflessly, you receive the greatest gift of all: transformation. The service itself changes the giver.
My swami and guru taught me that seva enables our own personal growth in ways we often don’t understand or realize until much later in our journey. The act of contributing, of serving, of helping others rise—that becomes the biggest gift we give ourselves.
This is how seva comes alive in our lives. We think we’re giving, but we’re also receiving. We think we’re serving, but we’re also being transformed.
The Fuel for Continued Service
Before this book made its way into the world, I didn’t realize that receiving gratitude isn’t passive. When people share how something you created changed their trajectory, it does something to you at a cellular level.
It validates the risk you took to be vulnerable. It confirms that authentic leadership—the kind where you share your struggles, your failures, your journey—creates permission for others to do the same. It fuels you to keep serving, to keep showing up, to keep creating spaces where transformation is possible.
The woman who asked for a raise showed me that when we give people frameworks, language, and permission to see their own power, they act. The man’s message about his daughters reminded me why I do this work in addition to my biotech mission. In a field that can be profoundly lonely for underrepresented individuals, creating spaces for authentic dialogue and mutual support isn’t just nice; it’s necessary. It’s liberation.
I expected The Mirror Effect to resonate with women in biotech. I hoped it would help some underrepresented leaders across industries find their voice. But I didn’t expect the father-daughter book club. I didn’t anticipate messages from people walking away from toxic environments with newfound clarity. I didn’t foresee the depth of emotion—the tears, the breakthroughs, the profound sense of being seen for the first time.
This unexpected abundance of gratitude has taught me something essential: when you create from a place of authentic service, the impact multiplies in ways you cannot predict or control.
Two Missions, One Heart
I’ve spent over 25 years in biotech as a founder, executive, and advocate. That work—bringing innovative medicine to patients who desperately need it—fills one part of my soul.
But The Mirror Effect and the work of creating spaces for authentic leadership fills another part of my soul I didn’t even know was empty.
These two missions aren’t separate. They’re both about service. Both about reducing suffering and creating possibility. In biotech, I serve patients I may never meet. Through this work, I serve leaders I’m privileged to know, connect with, and witness as they step into their power.
Both matter. Both are seva in action.
The Cycle Continues
When gratitude flows both ways, it doesn’t end. It perpetuates itself.
When someone walks away from a toxic workplace, they model courage for those watching. When someone asks for a raise, they signal to others that self-advocacy isn’t selfish, it’s essential. When parents facilitate conversations about authentic leadership with their children, they’re modeling what it looks like when someone in power actively works to dismantle barriers.
Every act of gratitude expressed becomes fuel for more service. Every transformation witnessed becomes evidence that this work matters. Every story shared becomes an invitation for others to share theirs.
This is the reciprocal nature of gratitude. This is how seva works. This is why service to others becomes the greatest gift we give ourselves.
Your Invitation
As you navigate this season of gratitude, I invite you to consider: Who has served you? Whose work, words, or presence has transformed your life?
Complete the cycle. Let them know.
When you acknowledge someone’s impact on your life, you give them the gift of knowing their contribution mattered. You become a mirror reflecting back the power of their work. And in doing so, you perpetuate the cycle. You become both the giver and the receiver. You transform service into a reciprocal exchange where everyone rises together.